She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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