I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize