is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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