well I can't set my house on fire every night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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