:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize