Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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