New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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