i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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