dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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