oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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