if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize