What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize