My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
