Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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