I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize