I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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