Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize