Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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