Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize