Who did Billy Mays play for?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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