I just saw a hot homeless man
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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