Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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