thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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