is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i love accidental penises.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
So squirting runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize