I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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