So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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