We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize