I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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