So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
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Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
do herpes really smell.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
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how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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