Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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