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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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