I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize