i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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