you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize