Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize