Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize