so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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