come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize