You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
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I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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