I'm eating all of the evidence.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize