Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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