Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
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I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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