chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
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I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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