im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize