I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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