I am spending my child support on dildos
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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