she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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