She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
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I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
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