Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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