could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize