best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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